Didn't We Almost Have it All?
by dawnsona
Summary: Songfic. She walked though the rundown house, lost in the infinite memories - of her life with him. You have to read it to find out the pairing. Please R & R! I think you'll like this one.


**This is my first songfic. I love this and I heard it again today. This idea just popped into my head. I'm not sure where this is set in terms of seasons…so let's just ignore that.**

**For those who're reading my other fic, 'Empyreal night', I will update. After my trip. **

**Disclaimer: I hate doing this. I don't own FRIENDS. I, also, don't own the song 'Didn't we almost have it all'. Whitney Houston sang that.**

**Didn't we almost have it all?**

It was smaller than she remembered. Back then, though, they couldn't afford anything else. The joy of having a home had more than made up for its insignificant size. It was a place that they could call their own – a place where they'd raise their family.

She rubbed the grime off the nameplate on the front door. He had nailed it the day before they had moved in. She had seen the pride on his face when he told her about it.

He was proud of this house. So was she. Not just because it was their first home, but because so much of her husband's sweat had gone into making it. He had poured his soul into making this house a home – for her.

Was that all it was? A home for her, not him? She ignored that part of her that said it was difficult for him to leave. Hope had brought her nothing but pain.

_Remember when we held on in the rain   
The nights we almost lost it   
  
_

She had gone to his premiere, yesterday. He always asked her to come, passing the message through one of their mutual friends. She never could bring herself to do so…until yesterday. Her mother told her not to - she didn't want her daughter to catch a cold in the pouring rain.

She cast her mind back to when she had declared her love. They had kissed for the first time, never heeding the downpour. He would always catch her smiling when it rained. She believed it made their troubles seem bearable. She told him it washed away sorrows. He had said he had none.

_Once again we can take the night into tomorrow   
Living on feelings   
Touching you I feel it all again_

The fans yelled when they saw him. He had waved in all directions. His gaze fell on her form. He had smiled and walked over to her. She proffered a hand to him. A moment's hesitation and then he took it.

It should have been a simple handshake…but her heart had other ideas. One touch and she was lost…in the expectancy of replicating the bliss she had felt in the past.

She had searched for him after the event, only to see him vanish into his limo, a woman in tow. She had swallowed her disappointment. Why shouldn't he be with someone else? They had been divorced for years.

A rustling sound drew her mind from last night's pain. She whirled around. The curtains billowed in the gentle night breeze. She ran a finger through the fragile material. It was stained brown now but it had been a delicate cream. Monica had gifted it to them – a house warming present. She smiled as she remembered trying to attach it to the hooks. It didn't matter that it was lopsided. He'd said it looked perfect.

Perfection wasn't unattainable with him. She still marveled at how he had turned the dingy little house into a paradise. True, her parents had failed to see that. That didn't matter, though. In her eyes, it was wonderful.

It wasn't the home she had wanted, though. She had actually fallen in love with the third house shown to her. The real estate agent had droned on about the potential for improvement. She had turned to her fiancé, her eyes shining with hope. He was staring at the agent, a mild look of panic on his face. It was unaffordable. They had politely declined.

The fifth house was the only one in their budget. He had believed that it could be improved. She had merely nodded.

_Didn't we almost have it all   
When love was all we had worth giving?_

That night he'd asked her to close her eyes. He'd talked about the future in the house. It brought a picture to her mind. She could envision the house – the way he saw it. It was beautiful.

He had held her and promised her that she would love the place. She'd never doubted it.

They had been so happy in their new home. She hadn't even thought of complaining. Chandler had passed a comment on how their new abode had changed her. She knew better. What had changed her was his love.

He said that being with her made him a better person. It sounded so clichéd but his sincerity shone through. She knew that the hint of her love had made him change his philandering ways. It warmed her heart to believe that she had the ability to make him want to settle down.

The door creaked as she peered into the kitchen. She could almost smell the burnt dinners she had served. Monica had tried teaching her but, other than very simple dishes, she could do little. The exotic dishes she had attempted had very similar flavors – of burnt rubber.

_The ride with you was worth the fall my friend   
Loving you makes life worth living_

She had fallen hard after he had left. Her friends had tried to console her. She had lost herself in depression…until Ross asked her if she regretted the time she spent with her husband.

Her startled expression was answer enough. She hadn't regretted it. She knew she'd never stop loving him. Their love was inimitable – a blend of ecstasy and harmony.

_Didn't we almost have it all   
The nights we held on till the morning   
You know you'll never love that way again   
Didn't we almost have it all_

She didn't hope to make them understand – it was inexplicable. Before he left, she had never believed they wouldn't grow old together. He had assured her of that, as they lay in bed, contemplating the future.

She made him leave. It didn't matter that he claimed he would always love her. She needed to do this, for both of them. His career was too important. It was either that or their marriage. She made the decision for them. Yet, she still considered him as her husband - not an ex.

Her eyes moistened as she took in the sight of the island in the kitchen. It was covered in cobwebs. Insects walked across it's once gleaming surface. She tilted her head. She would have screamed if she had come across it, in the past. Now, it was nothing but a poignant reminder of her lost love.

He had lifted her on to the island on their first anniversary, kissing her passionately before giving her the gift. A job interview. She had almost laughed out loud. He knew she was unhappy being a waitress, so he had hunted for the right job for her through the city. He had confidence in her abilities.

And that confidence helped her secure the position. She was finally going to be doing something she loved. They had celebrated all night.

_The way you used to touch me felt so fine   
We kept our hearts together down the line_

She walked into the guest room. They had preferred to sleep there, reluctantly moving into the master bedroom when guests arrived. Phoebe had caught them in there, once. After that, her friends refused to sleep in the guest room.

His touch made her feel alive. No one could ever make her feel that way again. The few people after him paled in comparison. It was heavenly only with him.

Yet life wasn't always a bed of roses. They had struggled. His search for a career enhancement had caused her heartbreak. She could sense the pain he felt at not being able to provide the luxuries he felt she deserved. She had tried to convince him that she was happier than she'd ever been. He had merely nodded.

_A moment in the soul can last forever   
Comfort and keep us   
Help me bring the feeling back again_

The memories helped ease the pain. Every moment of their life was engraved in her soul. Sometimes, she'd play back snippets, relishing the comfort she drew from them. Monica would have been shocked – she advised a clean slate.

She could never let go of her past. It was who she was. She knew Monica would never understand that. She didn't understand it either. Why did she always bring up the past? After the memories played out, it filled her with a longing – that he would come back. The arguments over his career would be a thing of the distant past.

_Didn't we have the best of times   
When love was young and new?_

She sneezed. The sound echoed through the empty room. She hated it being empty. She remembered the position of every piece of furniture. She smiled at one corner. That was where the dressing table had stood. He had built it for her. She had insisted on painting it. The color had clashed with that of the room. They'd decided it gave it a unique look. In verity, it was terrible.

She walked out to the living room. The statue of the dog was still there. She could never fathom her husband's unreasonable attachment to it. He had admitted it was tacky but years of living with it…She placed her hand on it. It was as filthy as the rest of the house.

She felt tears pricking her eyes. This house had meant so much to her. After the divorce, she hadn't come near it. And now, she wanted to start her new life here. She could afford better places now but nothing could compare to paradise.

She peeled a strip of wallpaper off the wall. The wallpaper was something all six of them had selected. And it was peeling now. She would just have to put up new wallpaper.

Her friends had tried talking her out of purchasing the house. They'd said it was like rubbing salt in the wound. She knew that she wasn't going to hurt long. He had made her a home. She had to come back. She had to face the past. And find promise for the future.

_Couldn't we reach inside and find   
The world of me and you?_

She had left a message on his machine, informing him of her decision to buy the house. It was the first time in years she had called him. A part of her had wished he had answered. Was she being naïve? It wasn't like he would hear her voice and come running.

How did the saying go? Something about loving someone and letting them go…and if they came back, it was forever. It was probably not that, exactly, but it had run through her thoughts. She had let him go and he hadn't come back.

She was determined to pick up the pieces of her broken life. She heard the distant rumble of thunder. It was going to rain. Wasn't that fitting? Her fresh beginnings always started with the rain.

She stiffened at the sound of footsteps. Weren't they going to give up? She wanted this place and nothing they said would change her mind.

She turned to face…**_him_**. She blinked, wishing it wasn't an illusion. It wasn't. He stood there, an unsure look on his face.

She felt joy wash over her. "You came back."

He gave her a radiant smile. "I couldn't stay away any longer."

_We'll never lose it again   
Cause once you know what love is   
You never let it end_

**I hope you enjoyed that. I wanted a happy ending. Please R & R!**


End file.
